Lyrics

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome,
awesome...
I don't necessarily have to be here for this...
I'm gonna keep the headphones though...
Mother fucker I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie
I'm awesome!
I'm drivin around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Mother fucker I'm awesome!
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome!
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome

You know my pants sag low (low)
Even though (though) that went out of style
Like ten years ago (go)
Spose, I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps,
Getting fatter in the middle

And lyrically I'm not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet
So preposterous
Feel the awesomeness, the most obnoxious
Guest up at the sausage fest
Oh yes!
The girls are repulsed
So I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult
Uh Uhh
I'm as nervous as my cattle dirty curtis
All my writtens are bitten and
All my verses are purchased
Me? I'll never date an actress
Got too many back zits
Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss
Every show I do is poorly promoted and if you like
this,
It's cuz my little sister wrote it

I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie
I'm awesome!
I'm drivin around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Mother fucker I'm awesome!
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome!
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome

Check it out

I'm from Maine and I don't hunt, nope
And I can't ski
Smoke weed but I can't roll blunts
Might be whipped by my wifey
My neck not icy
Eatin at McDonald's because Subway is pricey

Uh, and my unibrow is plucked
Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
She's like "For what?
Blunt wraps and some Heinekens?
You skinny prick, go get a gym membership and
vitamins!"
I'm like, Mom please, don't blame it on me
I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve
My attitude's sour but my futon's sweet,
And the hair on my ass, it is Jumanji

Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Can't tweet up on my Twitter
Cuz I haven't done shit
Bank account red, body ungroomed
The only good thing about me is I'm off stage soon

I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie
I'm awesome!
I'm drivin around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Mother fucker I'm awesome!
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome!
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome

Futhermore I'm cornier than Ethynol
Cheesier than Provolone
I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home
With a ego the size of Tim Duncan
Even though I got shit for brains like a blumpkin
I'm twenty four, serving lobster rolls
Because I spent a decade filling optimos
And I'm not even the bomb in Maine
On my game I'm only about as sexy as John McCain
Now put your hands up,
If you have nightmares
If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here
If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
I'm outta breath...

But I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie
I'm awesome!
I'm drivin around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
Mother fucker I'm awesome!
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome!
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome